This is my blog log of things I think about, want to write about, but haven't had the time or place to do much with it all. I'm all about getting discussions going through comments/replies, and gettin' all deep and shiznit. Sometimes I just feel like posting a question, other times I gotta just let it all out and ramble... hopefully I'm not alone with it all.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Almost a Year...

... since my last blog on here. Honestly, I didn't think I would write anything else on here ever again, but something inspired me about two minutes ago. Actually, nothing specifically inspired me, but I clicked on my link for Blogger in my Favorites, and though "oh hell, why not". But there's been a lot going on in my life recently, so my mind's been churning a lot lately.

Most recently my grandpa passed away, and those who know me know I was very close to him. I've been helping take care of him at my parents (and my) home for the last three years, so this wasn't some distant relative in Germany or something. In short, things are different now.

Because my grandpa passed away my parents are now making plans to move out and over to his house near Paulsbo, which forces my hand into moving out as well, which is good, but then my mom keeps on trying to convince me to move over there with them. Ok, it was one thing to keep me around to help take care of my grandpa, and simultaneously allow me to finish college, but moving over to Paulsbo??? Yeah right! She talked to this psychic lady she gets readings from every 6 months or so, and she said I would do better in life if I moved over there, and I would find a job and a new love, etc... but it's fucking Paulsbo!! Answer: no. Which brings me back to the problem of needing to find a place to live, most likely with my friend Aaron and his fiance Jess, and maybe another one of our friends as well. BUT I'll probably be moving out before they can afford to. So who knows how this will all pan out.

Then there's the whole job front... I'll probably stop taking care of Robert here pretty soon, as his mom finally found another care taker, and I need to get away from the tavern. I'm in a new treatment center for my DUI now, so it'll be 6 months of sobriety starting today... not exactly a good thing to be working at a tavern right now, eh? But then I think I have a new job working downtown in the whole office remodeling area of work, making like $15-20/hr, so life will get a little better... especially since I'll now be able to work full time as well. Related to all this, I'll also get my license reinstated in two weeks, as my 90 days is almost up from the DUI. And on that topic: don't drink and drive. Yeah, the prospect of injuring yourself or someone else should be enough reason to not drink and drive, but the cost of dealing with the damn thing is truly painful... it makes a $30 cab ride not look so bad afterall. Hmmmmm, $8 cab ride to my house from the bar, or potentially pay $6,000 to the courts, a lawyer, and a treatment program...? Really hard choice. Really hard. Oh yeah, and I'm seriously one of the best drunken drivers out there, driving a straight line when blacked out drunk... ask my friends who remember those nights, as they never worried about me behind the wheel... why do I say this? Cuz I never thought I would get pulled over. Illegal lane change (on purpose), no cars on the road, 2am, but now there are flashing lights behind me. Oops. I guess that's life, and I've certainly learned my lesson. If you're reading this, trust me, it's not worth taking the chance... eventually you will get caught. Even if you're the "best" drunken driver out there. Seriously, I have three completely seperate groups of friends that all agreed I was the designated drunken driver, all the time. Even in Maine, in the snow and ice... I was that guy. Hey, I always got people home safe, and never got near crashing a car, or getting pulled over. Confidence is a bitch though... you never know when your tail-light will go out or something, and you'll get caught. Enough ranting, I think you get the point.

God I don't want to have to deal with moving right now... I have to pack almost all of my shit up into boxes so some people can come in here and "stage" rooms to make it easier to sell the house, and get more for it. WHY??? Yeah, I know why, but it's a pain in the arse. Anyway, off to D.C. next weekend to see my special woman... it's been waaaay too long! And now that I have a nice thought in my head I'll end this and go to bed... night!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

lol Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

What does a future hold...?

So it's been a helllll of a long time since I've posted on here, and for anyone who cares, you have my apologies. One reason was an overload of school work at the end of summer quarter, the other was the perfectly timed "crash" of my computer a week before finals. While the "crash" was a mystery in many ways, it turned out to be a faulty power source, which annoys me, seeing as I tested the computer with another power source with no luck (my fault? Or was that power source bad too...?). Alas, I have a new (better) power source (bumpin' 580 watts), and in the meantime I've made a few other upgrades here and there... now this bitch isn't just nice and fast, now she's a beast! (If curiosity has you, ask and I'll gladly tell. Let's start and just say that I have a total of 13 fans throughout this machine.)

Now back to the topic at hand.

So I seem to be in that period of my life where the future is still taking shape... ring a bell to anyone out there? You're not a teenager, you're at the end of the so-called "pre-adulthood", theoretically entering a more stable adulthood. That means less transitions in your job and career, less moving around, maybe settling down into the family life, etc... So my question is, when does that start??

Well, oddly enough I kind of think it might be around the corner, or maybe the next corner, which is weird for me to think of. First off, Fall quarter, right here, is my last to finish my bachelor's degree (finally!!!). Granted I'm planning on a master's degree in something in the future, and this is maybe that "other" corner. It's widely known news that I've been tossing around the idea of a move to Australia to get my master's degree, but I haven't spoken much about the possibility of a permanent move there... yes, permanent. To be honest, Australia has been growing on me, and the United States has been rotting in my mind. I guess it's part of trying to find the best possible future, and I see this country going down the shit-hole. Blame it on whoever or whatever pleases you, and I have my people to blame, but the future over here isn't exactly bright; not horrible, but it could/should be better elsewhere. Australia on the other hand, well, Australia is the english-speaking Switzerland... they don't get into anyone's business, and really, no one wants to mess with them; there's no need. They can be everyone's friend, which to me sounds great! I once wrote about Switzerland being somewhat of a Taoist country in terms of its international politics and world involvement, and seeing as they speak english in Australia, then they'll have to do, mate. Anyway, long story short, I plan to take classes at the University of Wollongong starting Feb. '07, and hope to move there at the end of next summer. Oh yeah, Wollongong is the 9th largest city in Australia (pop. about 390,000), on the coast (looks kinda like Hawaii), an hour south of Sydney, has a poppin' night life, and a very diverse and cultured community, AND it's cheap to live there... can you say paradise...?

As for the whole job/career thing, I'm not making any plans on that until I've finished my masters, and in the meantime I'm hoping to try and get a video production certification from UW (only takes two quarters). Still, who knows how those "career" cards will fall...

As for the love life, well, I hate to be one to jump the gun with all that stuff, but I recently started dating this girl Kali (think Cali/California... but don't call her California. Just a warning), and I honestly see this one going for a while. Yes, that means she might be joining me in a move to Australia, if/when the time comes. She too is tired of this country, and oddly enough shares interests (with me) in China and Australia (and I'm working on India too). She's 23, has her master's in psychology (she's a speech-language therapist), and has impressed me every time I've been around her... I haven't one complaint about her, and don't foresee many either (except that she's an Aries, so she too is strong minded and "should" be stubborn like me... we'll see how the ram and bull butt heads in the future). Anyway, this is only a couple weeks in the making, but I'd be lying if I said this doesn't have a lot of potential. Oh yeah, she's only like the third or fourth girl my mom has honestly liked, which doesn't hurt either. So we'll just wait and see where this goes.

So with all of that taken into consideration, when do I get to graduate into being an adult, and not just some 20-something-"pre-adult"?? I'm guessing 2-3 years until I'm more or less "settled", so should we say 2-5 years until I'm officially a stable adult?? Haha, yes, I AM Peter Pan...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Locked on Sports

Locked on Sports

Sunday, June 26, 2005

You're on Candid Camera!! Posted by Hello

Tucker Max

For those of you who are new to Tucker Max, well, beware... he's a dick, an asshole, has no respect for most anyone,and writes exceptionally well, and has some funny ass motherfucking stories!! So I've read many of them, and thought if I was going to pass the word along to others who might be bored enough to read his stuff, I should give a good story to start with. That's a hard thing to do since I've thoroughly enjoyed most every story of his I've read. The one below is about his first anal sex experience, and it's not too long (10-15 minutes or less...?), so I thought it'd be a decent one to open things up with. If you like it, I recommend the MTV story too, among most every other one he's written, but ther MTV one explains a lot, even though its like a half hour to an hour's read (for me). Anyway, do enjoy, and if boredom plagues you often, his stories are a great source of entertainment. Read on...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Topic #3.... Thinking Fungus?

Yup, so read the last couple posts to get the background to this topic separation. So, in the aforementioned thread, this third (and final, for my comments) topic came about: those smart little fungi! For this I'm going to do a little he-said/she-said to keep everything in context, so it might get a little long... but please enjoy and continue the discussion! Oh yeah, and this sprouted from the AI topic (couple posts below):

Me: And in response to the "fungus thinking" idea, you have to agree upon the definition of thought, which includes the medium(s) throught which thought exists, as well as the manner through which thought is conducted.

Leadfoot: Mushrooms deffinitely think. Their mycellial bodies are filled with neurotransmitters, and their bodies extend for miles beneath the soil. Even if you assume (wrongly in my mind, but let's play with this) that one mushroom cell has so much more to do than just think, and so is not a very effective neuron, with some 100x the mass and density of interconnections of cells than the human brain, that still adds up to quite a high intelligence.
Now, this would not be intelligence like yours and mine, being based on psilocybin (those who have taken mushrooms in their time may have some inkling of the differences between serotonin and psilocybin). But intelligence it is.

Me: That a mushroom and/or fungus has a sensory/perception system is one thing, but to think is another. Again, you have to define what a thought is, and to most a thought must have content. If you would like to delve into exactly what kind of content a fungus would transmit as a thought, I'd love to hear it, seeing as they have no verbal language to organize thoughts with, and therefore no medium by which to communicate between seperate bodies and share "content" and knowledge. I can bend a little and accept that maybe one mushroom can feel the physical conditions of another mushroom, but that they discuss the meaning of life I'll have to disagree with. So I really have a hard time accepting them having "intelligence", because even if they had/have a memory to base experience and therefore knowledge on, they have a very very limited range of experiences to diversify their "thoughts" with. And I've taken mushrooms many many times, so I know what you are trying to refer to, but I don't buy it.

SIDE TOPIC on mushrooms, in case anyone wants to discuss this too:

Leadfoot: Also an interesting fact: Mushroom spores, carried by the winds of a storm, can reach up to and out of the earth's atmosphere. And the spores (the mushroom's "seeds") can survive a trip through near vacuum and radiation of 500x the levels of the Van Alen belt and still land back on Earth and germinate.
Now, if they can do this, what's stopping these spores from reaching other planets? I say they're already heading out from Earth. Someday they might find a suitable home, hunker down, and give a whole different species of intelligent life something to trip on. Wouldn't it be funny to meet an alien species, and immediately have them offer you a mushroom?
I think it'd be funny, anyhow.

Me: And you're right, the mushroom spore is really an amazing thing. No argument there. Although it isn't a likely scenerio that a spore would successfully travel to another planet that could actually support its life. God knows they can be very finnicky fruits as is, that are pretty picky about where and how they grow.


So please continue the discussion(s)!

Topic #2.... China and our future...

The follow up to the last post is the second topic covered... for the background read the last post below. So, in the midst of another person's post was this: "With so much industrialization of third world countries and values being lost, sin overwhelming, and people do horrible things I think by 2012 our world will be in a great unbalance to good. With the imperialism of the U.S. degrading countries where honor and respect were highest of the land these days have been replaced by greed, pride, and hate."

The mention of 2012 is a reference to the end of the Matan Calendar, part of the backbone of a lot of the discussion in that whole thread - the "end" is coming, or is it? So in response to that I wrote this below... and again, I rambled... and please, of course, comment:

You touch upon an interesting point, but I wanna veer off a little. There's the Mayan calendar and also the Hopi Indian [prophecy] both ending about that time, along with other such predictions and whatnot, and I don't see an end of the human species or anything like that. But in relation to what you said, I think there will be a big political power change in the world, the wheels of which are theoretically already set in motion. The change I believe will come will be the downfall of the Western powers, and the rise of the Eastern powers, namely China. Their economic situation is giving rise to the purchases of US entities in many areas: computers, oil, metal, etc... all the things needed to be self sufficient as a world superpower, and they are buying these things at an exponential rate (by year) because of the inflated value of their money against the rest of the world. It's completely feasible that in 6-7 years China will surpass every other country in monetary and political power in the world. What comes with such a change is a change in the dominating world views. Right now the Western view dominates, which is very different from most Eastern views, and in some ways could be considered a catostrophic change to this world, albeit one I, personally, would/will not fear. Afterall Taoism is from Chinese thought. This 'War on the World' that Bush has started is doing a few things to help this future change by weakening US ally support and at the same time depleting US funds and therefore monetary power. In other words the US is losing its bargaining power with the rest of the world. England is a joke as a world power, and they will crumble under the US, along with some other countries that are directly tied into socio-cultural and moetary ties with the heads of this Western culture and society. And yes, this is the "end of the world" for Christianity, but not for everything else. Sinners repent? How about go learn chinese and prepair for a re-education. And this is not like the US will die, and everyone will move to China, and the English language will cease to exist, or anything like that, it's just a major switch of cultural power, and with it I believe a lot of change on the emphasis on the dominating thoughts and ways of thinking. Why did the calendar end? They didn't know what China was, or "the West" for that matter, so it would be like looking into a crystal ball and seeing fog, albeit fog that was diluted with lightning and "torment". In a way, I can't wait for the day when Christians must actually learn what fear is... the fear of being treated like a true minority.


So an odd follow up to this is that, while I arrived at this little "apocalyptic" conclusion to our future in like October or November, I've never heard anyone else really say the same thing, or relay the same message... until today. Today was my first class of summer quarter in my Modern China class, and the professor basically said the same prediction for the same general reasons, but he gave a time frame of it happening in 10-15 years, and he never mentioned the Mayan Calendar or Hopi Prophecy. I'll tell ya, that was a trip to hear him say all that on the first day of class, especially since I only posted that thing above the night before! The only other time I've put that whole prediction into printed words was on the Yahoo! Mariners message board in like November. Yeah, that was weird... Anyway, please comment if you feel the need...

Dum da dum dum DUMB!!!

Yeah, so this too was from the MySpace Taoism group message board (we get into some fun topics and discussions at time).

The REAL Topic: well, for a background, an obvious Christian started the thread by posting a bunch of apocalyptic/millenial quotes from the Bible... and finsihed off with:
"These signs are our evidence worldwide, and are increasing both in frequency and intensity.


So you can imagine the flurry of responses from this board... within the discussion we hit some other topics. The first I commented on was about AI and machines/computers having souls... I posted in response to this: "I disagree that machines don't have souls; I think [some other guy's] definition of a soul is too human. To me soul is the everlasting conscious, and I think all matter to be a part of it, ergo machines have the same soul as everything else."

Here's my response, and please, do discuss if you have anything to comment about:

But your argument has a flaw, AI is a human construct, and an attempt at making a machine as human as possible. But you can't make a machine into a human, or you no longer have a machine. AI has the limits set by the human condition and our lack of knowledge of ourselves and the honest workings of our brain. Our brain is way too complex for us to ever be able to duplicate it without the use of biological matter and cells, in which case we are moving towards actually being a human and not an artificial machine.

SO! This soul you speak of will die with the human race when it dies (and this isn't a matter of "if", but when, and how, which are totally different topics), because the soul, like everything we percieve, is a human construct. We can imagine a time when we can teach chimps to think and reason like us, and maybe we can teach them about what a soul is, but then they will have their own interpretation of the information we provide, and will see things in a chimps way, not a humans way, and therefore we can't really expect them to even know what we know a soul to be (and the soul itself is a personal opinion as to what it is). Actually, on that note, because there is not one single definition of the soul that everyone can/will agree on, it's more proof that the soul is a human construct, or simply an assumption or belief, but not a cold hard fact that can be shown and proven and explained so that no one doubts its existence and manner/medium of existence. As such the human soul will die with the species and the language that has created and cared for it (in case there is an evolution of the species that maintains the language and knowledge base). Ok, I'm getting too far into this...


Now, the next post on this blog is the next topic we covered, which is more along the lines of apocalyptic thought...

On Taoism and Reincarnation

Question (taken from the MySpace Taoism group discussion board): What do people think is the relationship between reincarnation and the Tao?

My answer: As was said, you believe it if you want to, and don't if you don't. I don't believe in reincarnation. I believe this body is what we have to show for our life and our "soul". That being said I don't really believe in a soul either, at least not beyond or detached/detachable from this body. So, IMO, when the body dies, everything else we are dies with it, except the memories people have of us. As for Taoism and reincarnation, it all depends on who you ask. If you ask me you'll get a "no", only because I see Taoism as a socio-political ideology and philosophy and medium by which we can live our life and survive to the best of our abilities in this life. Lao-tzu, the "originator", wasn't saying these things for the mystical purposes, but the socio-political purposes. Chuang-tzu took that line of thought, however, and made it mystical and into more of a religion than a philosophy. If you feel like you need the mystical and more "religious" elements of Taoism, then walk that road. But I feel more comfortable with the more original and stripped down version, which doesn't include reincarnation. Just my 2 cents tho...

And also, realize that philosophers have made some changes or evolutions in the Taoist thought over the centuries, so you can probably find whatever you're looking for if you look hard enough... but then I've always been the type to take what makes sense to me, and what I like, about any and all religions to make my own world view. I recommend others do the same... you'll be happier if you believe in only what makes sense to you, and not what a book says you should believe.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


So I got some interesting results... and I really don't know what to say. Can't say it's wrong or right, but that list/order is pretty damn true. I have to do my research to find out what Satanism really is, in essence, and until then I'll just nod and smile. Oh yeah, 0% for Hinduism?? I was raised in a freaking Hindu household my whole life!! Not even 1%???

"You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.

Satanism 71%

Atheism 58%

Buddhism 50%

Islam 50%

Paganism 50%

Agnosticism 50%

Judaism 29%

Christianity 29%

Hinduism 0%